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Never Happened

Stuff like this never happens. It's just too good to be true. Or at least maybe we're glad it doesn't happen everyday.

These are the kind of stories that are so crazy no one could have made them up. Some of the stuff is legal, and the rest, well, if anyone asks, they're just stories you heard from somehone passing through.

But don't take our word for it. Hell, you might have been in Havana when Dos Hermanos hopped the Pilar, or fishing the flats of Christmas Island when we came flying just ten feet over the thatched roofs on our way south.

But those are just stories amigos, everyday the wind brings new faces and places. And maņana, hell, maņana's not a time or place, it's a lifestyle...the pulse of the ocean...the heading on our compass, the faces we remember...

And you might be sitting on that barstool somewhere, spilling your guts to your bartender---because you had to tell someone---when the federales come a knockin' with their pistols drawn, looking for the one who...

well, no dramas.

Just lean back, have a swig of whatever you're drinking, and tell em, "Never happened compadres, stuff like that could never happen, just the whiskey talking..."

45,000 Feet over Olympia

4/16/2002 -- The air's in turmoil, the rain is soaking the land, and at 45,000ft we're above the worst of it.

We've been on the road for a few days now, traveling across the Heartland into foggy dirty skies of the LA basin and finally up to the northwest corridor where America hasn't yet been discovered.

We used to talk about alternative music, we made fun of the Starbucks junkies, and even threw a few cheap shots at the back country hicks that hadn't yet seen the light...

Between the snowy peaks and the Olympia river valley we let down our 42$M airplane at a place that hadn't seen a plane, much less a spaceship. Tom lent us his '73 suburban for the night. When Kristin asked him about gas prices and the middle east, he exhaled from his cigarette and pointed east towards the Cascades. "It was all so easy then," he began. Like a Kris Kristofferson song he continued, "you must be from New York." He hadn't shaved in over a week and his dickies weren't stained from coffee. "Your politics and your priorities come from those recycled newspapers I bet..."

A few hours and several drinks into the bag we put some more coins into the jukebox. The sawdust on the floor kept her DC shoes from overtaking the pint glasses clanking behind the bar. It was dimlit but the christmas lights brought of most of the gray hairs from Tom's beard.

"If gas goes to $10 a gallon, you're probably still need to go places, hell you might even do some walking like you should."

Her parent's DNA had done her favors and she didn't need to walk much like many of the Florida vacationers, but she smiled and responded quickly in a Brooklyn accent.

"Hell, you easterners complain about the weather, snow, ice, heat waves, hurricanes, but you can't control em...hell, some kid in all black wearing trendy glasses is probably typing on his apple right now about the injustices of life in the middle east and CNN will run a spot tomorrow on how life across thousands of miles needs 15 minutes of your thoughts. How many times have you people ever just sat back and said, shit," he paused as he sipped his domestic beer, "we've got it pretty good here." He was looking at the Budweiser Clydesdales trotting through a wintry heaven on a bar poster.

Perhaps Tom had never taken a steamer to the Old Land, perhaps he didn't even own a TV, but we spoke that night about the elk and deer in the cascades and his weekly trek into the mountain lakes and streams. His life seemed so simple away from hollow politicians and the intricacies of world travels.

"You can't let these assholes rent space in your head, don't let the bastards get you down. Tomorrow you'll be 20 years older wondering why you never did the things you promised yourself back in your youth. You'll realize the world will always change, and some shit, you might not even agree with."

We smoked cigarettes and drank dollar pints with people that plowed land, fished the streams of America and painted the American dream in a way we only sell in magazines and novels.

It was a late morning when we finally left, and as we drove back we passed a kid tossing papers into the suburbs. Kristin looked over at me and offered me a smoke, Dave in the back didn't smoke but he lit one up too. We rumbled down the road burning gas and cigarettes as the sun rose without saying much, each with a quiet grin...I'm sure somewhere NPR was reporting the news but there was a empty hole where the stereo had once been....


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